It follows a particularly heinous week on the Victoria line, and my thoughts on how people would perhaps make the experience slightly more bearable
1) We learn from quite an early age how to control wind, why choose the most packed environment you are ever likely to be in to forget?
2) If you're going to have a boozy night get a train outside of rush hour the following morning. You need the rest and no one needs to be subject to the sweet but rancid smell of stale alcohol breath
3) If you have to then please pack mints
4) One for TFL. Find a way to internet-enable the Underground. It's amazing how surfing the web chills people out. After all, there is no chance of reading the paper
5) And one more for the Tube bosses. Your drivers and staff at the platforms who ad-lib when making announcements should be rewarded. Others should be encouraged to follow suit. Being told to have a nice day might seem ironic when you're fighting to get on a train, but I
still like the sentiment
6) Whoever decided to spend millions of pounds on trains with a safety mechanism that doesn't allow them to move when clothing is caught in the doors should be fired, immediately (this is not a political statement!)
7) Fines should be imposed for anyone who gets on a busy train and takes the space nearest the door, leaving less room for everyone else to get past. You will get off, so keep moving until you hit that inevitable brick wall
8) And remember to smile, it could be worse!!!
Enjoy the weekend, and avoid the Underground